Friday, October 17, 2014

DETERMINED.

Aloha.
So for some of you who have been reading my blogs. You know that I have and is still struggling with loosing weight. So I just want to go into more depth about my struggle.
Well I was always one of the bigger girls if not the biggest in my group of friends. But when it really got worst was my freshman year in high school. When I got my ma'i (period) for the first time. I have irregular bleeding from the start. Like I would bleed for more than a month and it was heavy the whole time, anyways im anemic. So the doctors and my mother decided to put me on birth control, so I was on BC for 8 years just to control my bleeding. That was when I started blowing up and I was active. I was a cheerleader and I paddled canoe. People told me that it would make me big and I said no, but looking back at it yes it did. But in my junior year my friend Tati and I would go exercising like I think everyday, go running around Lahaina. Plus my H.S. is not on a flat ground so there is hills and stairs everywhere, also we worked at the H.S. cleaning up the AG department and but doing that for a year and not even realizing it I lost a lot of weight. The lowest I got to was 160lbs mind you im 5"8. So for my senior year I stayed around in that weight, below 200. It wasn't until I got with my boyfriend at the time which is now my husband and went to college I started noticing I was gaining some weight not the freshman 15 because yes my friend Tati went to the same college at me, so we worked out everyday. But I only stayed in Hilo for one year because I got bored and it was expensive, so came home and went to UH MAUI for one year and got a job and that's when I blew up, because I work in a grocery store and I don't like to cook, so we would always go out and eat. So took me 3 years to get at the weight I am now which is 300 and its sooo uncomfortable I hate it but I love fried take out food. But I talked to myself and kicking myself in the ass. In order for me to provide a child for my husband and I, I have to lose a lot of weight because I have PCOS. So I have to put my all and mind into it. Im determined to get rid of all this unnecessary FAT. My husband and I cut out soda and is slowing down on our intake of rice. So im hoping that by this time next year I will be down one whole person. It wont be easy because I see people wih PCOS have a hard time loosing weight but I have seen people do it and then get prego. So I will do it for me so I can finally love myself, because I don't like what I look like now I don't even like looking in mirrors or going clothes shopping. That's my story, sort of.  MAHALO A HUI HOU!

Thursday, October 9, 2014

ranting

Aloha is it morning here on Maui. This is the earliest I've been on here and actually up. One reason I am up so early is because my nephew isn't feeling so good he is 7months old and has a fever. He is the cutest lil white boy with grayish eyes ever. He brings me joy. His mother is my sister. But a lot of people say that my husband and I is his parents, I would say that to but its not right. The reason people call us his parents is because he's usually with us anyway because the parents are usually always sleeping with the TV on. Like every day not that my brother in law got a job only my sister is home and she just stays in her room and watches TV ALL DAMN DAY and oh yeah SLEEP. It erks me so bad because she is my older sister like 40yrs old kind older she don't have a job and did really have one for years. So my parents give her money, my mom buys the babies diapers wipes and everything else. I don't know how much times I told them they have to stop because they are enabling them what is going to happen later in life. I cant take care of them forever. Uggh sorry for bringing such negative vibes. But I just have to let it out because every day theres something new that she does or shall I say doesn't do wrong. But now my husband just made me breakfast so immah eat now. And by making me breakfast I mean McDonalds some local deluxe A HUI HOU